In a time when we are holding our loved ones close, listening to the COVID-19 figures rising daily, life as we know it is on hold. For those who can, we are celebrating our families and our health. We are taking the time to stop, breathe, reflect. We might be cooking more, reading more, listening more.
But what about those who do not have life on hold? Who are battling some other incurable disease? Who are in their final stages of a long and exhausting treatment programme, or who are grieving the loss of a recent loved one – either connected, or unconnected to the COVID-19 epidemic?
In January this year, a few days before his 71st birthday, my Dad passed away. We had just spent Christmas together, he was in good health, with bold, exciting, crazy plans for the year ahead. We laughed together and remembered the good old days. We celebrated life.
Now he is gone, just like that – and suddenly I understand a little better what losing a loved one means. To all my friends who have lost a mother or a father, I finally get it. Grief is a profound, complicated concept that leaves you with more questions than you could ever find the answers for. It knocks you sideways, and every time you think you are just about up again, then comes the next blow.
In this time of reflection and realisation for so many across the world, the social media wheels churn ever faster, and the pressure still comes at us thick and fast. Self isolation updates, self promotion videos – my most frequent question from friends this week: when are you going to start an online cooking course now you are housebound?
I certainly am working away in the kitchen. I will always cook, I will always have something in the making. For me cooking is therapy, and the creativity aspect is good for my soul. But in days like these, as the world stops, but life goes on, I will finally have the time to absorb the real feelings behind the loss of my Dad. To grieve when I might not otherwise have had the time. Perhaps that online course may come one day – but not just yet.
Testing new ideas with sourdough brioche doughnuts, whilst making white and rye sourdough bread for the neighbours…
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